To my little man on the day of your first birthday party

To my little man on the day of your first birthday party…

I remember this time last year like nothing else. I was so uncomfortable, exhausted, in pain, impatient, frustrated, overwhelmed, cranky and completely over it (I know I said impatient but I am just reiterating that 😉 ). You were worth every single moment.

I was on bed rest from 36 weeks (from memory – possibly earlier?!) due to high blood pressure (not pre-eclampsia) and wanting to wait out for labour (no induction) it was my only option to try avoid an early repeat c-section.

I kept saying at the time, I swear it’s that he’s a big baby and he’s just putting pressure on my organs as when I would sit/lie down my blood pressure was fine, as soon as I stood up and/or walked it would go through the roof, the most frustrating thing ever, especially for someone like me who does not like to rest and likes to do a zillion things every day, hates to be slowed down. It certainly slowed me right down!! I was right though, he was a big baby – 9 pounds 9 ounces; 4.4kilos. My obstetrician could not believe it when she saw him.

Anyway, it was really hard being on bed rest for a second pregnancy as it meant I still had a little person to feed and look after and who couldn’t understand why Mummy couldn’t do much at all. My Mum was wonderful help coming to stay every week when Josh would return back to work (Josh works 5 days on 5 days off), by about the 4th week we were both a bit over it I think and I was just so ready to have Brooklyn and for everything to just be back to ‘normal’, I asked Josh if he could just take some time off work or start his paternity leave early so we could just lay low us three and just be and that is what he did and I finally got out of my funk, let go of trying to control it and let go of being impatient and counting time, also broke the rules and went out for fish and chips and then that night my water broke .

It hasn’t been the easiest year because of your allergies. People always say your first baby is hard but we didn’t find that at all with Bebe, we found it a walk in the park with a good routine everything worked a dream. Brooklyn is the same too now just the allergies made it harder to begin with and as much as it has got a lot easier as the year has gone by there are still those moments of anxiety and worrying (see obsessing!) but it is definitely so much easier and I am still so grateful for the information I came across and the networks I made that allowed us to get a really quick diagnosis, so now for the future, I can only hope that he grows out of all of them, or at least improves his tolerance. We have time on our side so that is a positive.

You have taught me so much Brooklyn; patience, resilience and over all so much love.

You’ll always be my baby boy.

Meowmy x



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