Blog; truth in parenting, honesty re emotional side of food allergy struggles
Ok so a lot of people may not get it, why it is hard with food allergies,”it’s not that big of a deal” etc so I will try explain the struggles..
For me personally, it is because I am a ‘fixer’.. a ‘do-er’.. I am not the sort of person where something happens and I just let it defeat me, nor do I dwell on it, or feel sorry for myself, I accept it but then I do something about it, I thrive on doing something to better the situation, it gives me a sense of control.
The problem is, sometimes you can’t do anything … or, sometimes you are limited as to what you can do. Sometimes you just have to accept, and do absolutely nothing. This is a concept I majorly struggle with.
My mantra should be; God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.
So when things like yesterday/last night happen, where I listened to a professional, accepted her professional advice then went home and questioned everything and didn’t know how I was going to get to the bottom of it all, when a specialist had given poor advice, I felt completely defeated, what are we going to do now?
He is still suffering from a reaction from the immunisations, do we then go make him suffer more by the food trials, what might happen, is it worth the risk.. etc etc.. all the questions and thoughts go around and around in my head and I just felt completely powerless to do anything.
The allergist we saw is the only allergist clinic on the Coast, so I was thinking, we would have to try find another one who is reputable, but will they actually be any good? Will we have to start from scratch, is it even going to help?
I find it so unacceptable in this day and age that medical professionals, especially specialists do not always have the answer, or can give poor advice. How is it that I can do scholarly research online to work it out more for myself than they can actually tell me ? It seems to be that way with these types of food allergies anyway – still so much research yet to do and answers yet to be given. It’s wrong and unfair.
It also gets me to thinking, I am a massive advocate, a big fighter, a determined and strong person, but what about the people who don’t naturally have those traits or confidence to challenge information given to them or challenge people?
No wonder why Mother’s struggle so much. I think I can handle a lot and juggle a lot and keep my crap together but even I really struggle in situations like this.
Last night took me right back to the beginning when we had no idea what was going on and no idea where to turn to for help, because the general practitioners weren’t even giving us the answers.
Come today, I feel so much better, I did my pump class, I got some fresh air, had a dip in the ocean, spent amazing time with family, even spent 7 minutes listening to my “mind the bump” mindfulness app (before the dog licked my face) and I spoke to the allergist and made progression.
But I really feel like something needs to be done for other Mother’s who may be struggling for whatever reason about anything and who may not speak up about it or know how to get answers to whatever questions they may have.
I want those Mothers to know that if there is any way I can be there for you, to advocate for you, to ask those uneasy questions, to battle for you or just be there as a friend I will gladly do it.
This passion ties into my career too; it is something I feel so strongly about, helping others, people who have been through struggles, the vulnerable, advocating for rightness and seeking justice and I cannot wait to get my foot back in the door to do so.